48: WiFi connection vs worthwhile connection

I listened to a podcast this week which got me thinking about how we live our lives in the modern day of always being ‘online.’ I don’t remember the last time I actually picked up the phone and called somebody without, firstly, texting them to make sure that they were free, or emailing them to do the same thing in a workplace context. Once upon a time we were physically attached to our phones. They hung on the wall of our homes and could only be stretched to a certain distance. Now, we’re attached to them in a completely different way, but how often do we use them for their original purpose?

Email and texting and various forms of social media have taken over the world, which is actually making it harder to get any real work accomplished. We are constantly distracted by the instantaneous nature of our phones. Plus, calling someone seems scarier than typing because you actually have to talk. The Harvard Business Review published an article recently on the success of face-to-face communication versus the success of an email or text. How much more successful are we with face-to-face communication? Thirty-four times more.

Furthermore, actually hearing somebodies voice can elicit greater feelings of honesty and trust for the individual. When we hear someones voice rather than reading a text message in our own head, we don’t beat around the bush looking for hidden messages. No decoding, miscommunication or assumptions are made.

Also, actually talking to others elicits ‘feel good’ hormones. A story from one guy on said podcast was about his Mother who he said used to call him all the time. He found this relatively annoying and she would always leave him long, rambling voicemail’s which he would fast forward through to get to the point. However, when she was diagnosed with breast cancer and he was looking for things that he could keep after her passing, the one thing he did was trawl back through those messages. He just wanted to hear her tone, her speech pattern. It was familiar, comforting, and a real slice of her personality.

Another study conducted in the USA found that teenage girls who were sitting important exams and whom were stressed out were split into two groups. One half were allowed to call their Mum and discuss their feelings, whilst the other half were allowed to send a text. The girls who spoke to their Mum on the phone had a reduction in their levels of cortisol (our acute stress hormone), and an increase in their levels of Oxycontin (the hormone we secrete when we hug someone we love). The ones who sent the text? Nothing changed.

This is so interesting in the day and age that we live in, that simply hearing someone else’s voice can have a profound impact on our physiological state. Obviously we know that face to face contact is the most effective way to build a connection with another person, but even talking on the phone can be beneficial.

So, next time you want to have that important conversation with someone, just pick up the blower! Don’t check to see if they’re busy, or email first to find a good time. If we can build these relationships and strengthen our social connections so easily, then I’m certain a friendly voicemail will have more gravitas than a text or an email.

Happy weekend!

x